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Katie Olsen - Deputy editor of Lifelounge and Captain of the Universe, these are the ramblings of the slightly unstable but completely unstoppable.
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Chris Brown channels Ike Turner and is accused of assaulting Rihanna
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And the rumour mill's working overtime Feb 10, 2009 at 10:16
There are a bunch of crazy rumours attached to this story. One is that Brown assaulted Rihanna with an umbrella-ella-ella, another is that he hurt her because she gave him an STD (you know which one), and another that Brown flew into a rage after Rihanna accused him of flirting with girls.

According to witnesses Princess RiRi and Chris Brown were arguing in their car when Brown hit her. By the time the police arrived, Brown had fled but he eventually turned himself into the po-po and was released on $50 thousand bail. Later, Rihanna was treated at Ceders-Sinai (PS. Is there any other hospital in Hollywood? At all?) where she was apparently yelling and crying. According to TMZ, Rihanna had bite marks and bruises on her body.

Rihanna and Brown were scheduled to perform together at a pre-Grammy party but both cancelled.

This is very not good. Nobody does this to a lady, least of all the lady who brought us 'Umbrella'.


Posted By: Katie Olsen
Tags: Trash


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'46' comment(s) have been made
True Senior Member
He lost my respect.
False Respect
how the fuck did he get it?
True Respect
that's the question
True Respect
ryz
Au contraire, Katie. Hearing "umbrella-ella-ella eh-eh-eh" for the bazillionth time makes me WANT to hurt whoever's responsible.
True Advanced Member
Ohh what a yerk, like if she couldn't get a cuter,nicer, and intelligent beau!
True Advanced Member
I <3333 Rihanna: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CliC_Pg65bw
True Senior Member
Bite marks? Disturbia!
True Senior Member
"Wuts bigger news mia pregnant swagger or chris brown domesrtic violence?" - Diplo via TwitterBerry
True Advanced Member
Um, well if Diplo jumped online he'd know the answer pretty quickly. And much as I like MIA, the idea of her performing while nine months pregnant (accompaneid by Jay Z, Kanye West, TI and Lil Wayne) is frankly, a little disturbing.
True Respect
Can totally understand the bite marks. She's tasty.
False Respect
with plenty of forehead to go around
True Respect
Tyra Banks style forehead?
True Member
i read somewhere that the police were soon going to release photos of her all bashed up and bruised and stuff, but the question is, why aren't they releasing them NOW? the answer = they're still too busy photo shopping them to make it look like something actually happened
True Advanced Member
It's pretty dangerous to assume that nothing "actually" happened when this a case of domestic violence.
True Respect
She was like: "Hey pizza face, even if the rocks in your ears were the size of Dallas, they still wouldn't outshine the fact that you on ugly mofo." So of course he had to hit her- no one likes to hear the truth.
False Advanced Member
Ow what STI did she give him? And hitting her is just inexcusable! She's soooo adorable *melts* - Jake OXOXO
True Respect
Jake, give it to me straight. When you leave the house of a morning, do you do a pirouette and then birds fly out of the trees and land on your outstretched arms while fawns prance up and kiss your knees? Cos that's the kind of image I'm getting.
False Respect
i want the truth!
False Respect
The truth about Jake. not these to douche bags. (though i do not condone inter sex physical abuse of any kind)
True Respect
I think we're all on tenterhooks, Jay. Out with it Jake!
False Respect
You know what? I wouldn't be surprised if Jake gets mad love from nature, he's a fucking delight. And you all know it.
False Advanced Member
Awwww yooooooouuuuuu ggggguuuyyyyyyssssss... You've made made me all blush *so* much! Anyhoo, I like the mystery lol :P - Jake OXOOX
False Respect
BULLSHIT! we need answers! ANSWERS!
True Respect
I'm on your side KO, chizzle. I just want to know Jake's secret! And what a fawn knee kiss feels like.
True Respect
ryz
The secret is that Jake isn't actually a real person - he's an amalgamation of 10 different Disney characters and that laughing yoga guy off youtube.
False Respect
I want, ne, NEEEED THE HAPPINESS!!!! arrrhhhh!!!!! BOOM! *head explodes*
True Respect
Jake is a delight.An afternoon delight from whom is the question I think Jay is trying to ask.
False New Lounger
I am lost of words. All I can say is ---> :(
False New Lounger
Although Rihanna is a fivehead, she doesn't deserve it. Even if she gave Chris herpes.
False Respect
ive seen a few sixhead shots you there, prime for the moon slapping!
False Advanced Member
lol damn, RYZ, you nailed it in one. I'm channelling Ariel, Cinderella, Timon *and* Pumbaa! - Jake XOOXO
False Respect
Arieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel! *said in a Caribbean way*
True Respect
I would liek to point out that almost eveyone had herpes these days anyway- so what's the big deal? *gaullic strugs*
True Advanced Member
Can anyone say Bobby Brown / Whithey Houston? Shit is real!
True New Lounger
But I read that someone told KYLE SANDILANDS that Rhianna always treated Chris like total crap and he finally snapped. Kyle was THERE. Like, in the same city. RIGHT THERE! So he knows and he's completely reliable. And if she treats him like shit then that's a totally justifiable reason to FLOG THE FKN CRAP out of her. Don't be a man Chris and just GET THE FCK OUT. Loser.
False New Lounger
Slapper deserved it. Gave him herepes checked his mobile every minute and basically tried to control his life. And i bet it was a single bicth slap. chris brown is da man!
False Respect
Wow. I bet you're a real catch, Valance!
True Advanced Member
Aurillio- tiny brain or tiny penis? Which is it?
False Respect
a little from column A, and a little from column B?
True Respect
ryz
I, for one, am waiting for Dinowhore's inside scoop on the situation before making up my mind.
False Respect
I concur. Im sure shes(???) got it all in her two way.
False Senior Member
You KNOW IT SLUTS!!!!! Been in Antigua but I'll update you NOW!!!!
False Respect
I just saw a photo on dlisted.com of Rihanna's injuries and it pretty much broke my heat.
True Advanced Member
Yeah, Chris Brown appears to have beaten the shit out of her. Not good :(
False Respect
HEART, BTW. Heat? Not so much.
True Senior Member
Rihanna is sooooooooo much awesomer that Chris. An despite her catalogue of awesomest songs, she isn't the brightest spark, so hopefully Chris's belting didn't knock off too many of her shortstock of braincells. physical violence on any living thing is not cooool. physcial violence on inanimate things is very funny tho.

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