These were the days of sun-kissed beaches, tanned Australians (and the occasional buy-in) living lives of carefree excitement, questionable celebrity endorsements and memorable tunes. Cinematography was full of aerial pans and over-saturated colours; music was full of saxophones and righteous guitar solos.

I'm sure there were just as many terrible ads in the '80s and early-'90s as there are today (in fact I know there were; Pebble Mix, anyone? "Sue! What have you done to the porch?"), but – like children's toys and men's hairstyles – they just did things better back then.

Please grab your daily Mars Bar and a Big M (two classic campaigns that just missed out on top ten status) and join with me in celebrating the greatest ads of our childhoods.

Snack Pack (1987)

This ad stirs up so many questions that remain unanswered. Who doesn't remember this infuriating jingle? Why are those girls rolling a drumstick under their feet? Why aren't "BMX bandits" cool anymore? And who actually ate the vile stuff?

Commodore 64 (1983)

Hey, girls in bikinis having awesome fun on a waterslide, care to join me for a little "Introduction to Basic" back at mine once you're finished? Nothing says good times like a Commodore 64!

Uncle Toby's Instant Porridge (1990)

Hands up who is still haunted by the memory of this buck toothed little git whenever you pass the oats shelf at the supermarket and spy the Uncle Toby's? Hands up who quietly repeats "That's no' how you make porridge" to oneself while making said oat breakfast, regardless of the brand chosen? Hands up who else's psychotherapy is making big improvements?

Red Rooster (1987)

Red Rooster have recently tried to gussy their image up by sending Tom Gleeson to Times Square but what they really need to do is revive their "Australia, your chicken is ready" jingle - nothing else in the world creates such a Pavlovian response when it comes to dreaming of a roast chicken dinner. If you play it, they will come.

Samboy Chips (1991)

Two things strike me about seeing this ad for the first time in roughly 15 years. One: I used to think it was literally the funniest thing in the world when Red Symons was hit in the face. Two: Dave Gleeson's neck is wider than his head.

Crunchie (1988)

It was a toss-up between this and Juicy Fruit when it comes to the "most inappropriate inference that eating said product will effectively change your life" stakes of '80s advertising (I tried some of the latter recently; the taste did not get me going). It also looks as though Naomi Watts is becoming something of a regular in these top tens.

Cottee's Cordial (80s)

You could accurately gauge the toughness factor of your primary school based on whether or not the central line of this jingle was changed to "My dad picks his nose" (soft) or "My dad picks his bum" (hard). Mine was in the latter category; one day I saw a nun make a kid eat soap at recess. Then we played with knives for a while; we were fucken tuff as.

Smith's Chips (1987)

Dear Smiths: FUCK YOU FOR GIVING ME HORRIBLE NIGHTMARES FOR YEARS AND YEARS. To this day I refuse to eat Smith's "plain flavour" chips because of their association with this interstellar little freak.

Wobbie's World (1991)

Never has the word "wow" looked as underwhelming as it does heralding this cavalcade of shit. From the "fireman" that is obviously a window mannequin nicked from Sussan to the kid in the red-striped t-shirt spacking himself at 0:26 and the weird squirty-sounding music, everything about this ad is exactly as you remember it. If only we could say the same for the rest of our youth...


Wear a Helmet (1984)

[Ed's note: There was one missing. We filled the gap with the Australian Government letting us all know that wearing a helmet means cycling through Australia with Molly Meldrum is like being on acid.]

PS. It goes without saying that this is a mere scraping of the surface of '80s and '90s ad hilarity; Tuckerbag and the amazing 1992 Macca's 'Rock On' campaign just missed out. Please go nuts with your personal favourites.

From thevine.com.au.