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The week in trashbaggery volume eleven
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Everything you (didn't) want to know Nov 13, 2009 at 03:12
Blender magazine has named Tupac the ‘most overrated person in music’. We’d be inclined to agree with that. Other notable mentions on their list include the Grammys at number 7, encores at number 12, Pink Floyd at number 14 and “the music you loved as a teenager” at number 23.

Angelina Jolie is on the cover of at least four different tabloids this week and is buying a new baby from Syria to add to her collection. Brad Pitt is smoking bucket bongs.

Kim Kardashian: "I lost my virginity to an R. Kelly CD." That must have been painful...

Britney Spears has been miming everything this week while in the country. Apparently some people are surprised by this.

Some kid with a Twitter account (‘Shit My Dad Says’) has landed a sitcom deal. CBS have bought the rights to Justin Halpern’s (700 thousand followers strong) account and are turning it into a show. The news has given unemployed people back home with their parents a reason to live.

Prepare to have your MIND BLOWN. There’s a new show in the US called Jersey Shores and it looks awesomely shit.



Benji and Joel Madden were in the country this week to try and pull Australian Idol ratings out of freefall. We’re not sure how that worked out but we do know the pair stormed out of a radio interview at Fox FM after the hosts tried to make them play the LAMEST game of all time. So lame and tedious we can’t even be bothered explaining it.

Speaking of aborted interviews, Miss California (her with the sex-tape), tried to walk out on a live interview with Larry King. Unfortunately, the poor dear couldn’t even get that right, she just sat there in silence until someone came along and plugged her microphone back in. Oh, and the reason TMZ haven’t leaked her sex tape is because (apparently) she’s underage in it. So, you know, awkward child porn charges.

Trend watch: Dandys in 19th century Victorian fashion riding around in bike gangs. It’s called ‘Tweed Ride’ and is the New York Time’s hot tip for the northern winter. Sounds a bit like the footpath outside Grace Darling in Collingwood.

Megan Fox’s people are worried about her media image and the fact women all hate her.  Apparently Jennifer’s Body didn’t do so well at cinemas and they’re blaming all the fat chicks who stayed home on their couches. As Fox explained, "The problem is, if they think you're attractive, you're either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore." For the record, guys have absolutely no problem with dumb whores.

Um, apparently Ridley Scott (Blade Runner and Aliens) is directing a movie based on Monopoly. We’re not joking. We WISH we were joking.

Lady Gaga has released a new single, ‘Bad Romance’, and an accompanying video that a lot of people seem to be excited about. It makes us wish we were blind. And deaf...



Google has introduced a new ‘history’ function for its Google Latitude mobile service that allows you to totally stalk yourself. Apparently people with shit memories have been requesting this. Also, we’re all screwed and the machines will be along any day now to raze our houses.

What do you call it when a lesbian and a gay man hang out together? No seriously, we want to know so we can tag this item about Samantha Ronson and Adam Lambert (American Idol runner-up) ‘going clubbing’ together properly.

That reminds us – Lilo is suicidal. That’s what her (former?) maid has been telling the media. Meanwhile, the ‘troubled’ star's dad has tried to sell taped phone conversations with her for a cool $100 thousand. Don’t get the wrong idea, "This isn't about money or getting paid, it's about saving my daughter." Also, some tabloids are saying Heath ledger and Lohan were sexing each other at the time of his death. Shit, we’d be zonked out on cat worming tablets too if this was our life.

United Bamboo, a Japanese fashion label, has created a prêt-a-porter range for cats. The outfits are designed to co-ordinate with the labels women’s range (and ensure you die sad and alone). Check the gallery for images.

Modern Warfare 2, the most anticipated ‘murder simulator’ of 2009 has arrived on store shelves. The new 2-D Mario game is also out this week but no one seems to care much about that.

Aerosmith maybe broke up this week. No one in the band has seen Steven Tyler since forever so they figure they’ll just get someone else in to cover. We hear JD Fortune is available and works for cheap.

Las Vegas has upped the stripper ante. An enterprising club has introduced mobile trucks that drive around town with actual strippers in the back pole dancing. Classy.



The American Medical Association has reversed its policy on weed and no longer considers it "a substance that will get your daughter raped by a 'coloured' jazz musician." We stole that line from Gawker – too good to ignore.

Apparently Fergie doesn’t get the whole ‘cheating’ thing and had to have it explained to her by a therapist. Actual quote: "I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it's with girls." No wonder Josh has been sexing the strippers.

That astronaut woman who drove across the country in a diaper to ‘stab a bitch’ has been given 50 hours community service. Lisa Nowak drove across the country back in 2007 to try and win her boyfriend back – by attacking and kidnapping his current girlfriend. Police stopped her before she had a chance to actually shank anyone. 

Chris Brown wishes Rihanna would STFU about the time he beat her up. Meanwhile, RiRi has attended the Glamour magazine's Women of the Year Awards wearing a dress that we quite like.

There was some three-way sex on Gossip Girl this week. Dan Humphrey was involved so that kinda sucked, but Vanessa and Lizzie McGuire also got it on so it wasn’t all bad.



Posted By: Mikolai Napieralski
Tags: TrashGossipCelebritiesTelevisionCinemaSexy


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'14' comment(s) have been made
False Respect
Oh Megan Fox, nobody hates you because you're hot. In fact, it's pretty much the only thing holding us back.
True Respect
FYI: Tokyo is the 'cat modelling' capital of the world.
True Respect
I just like it when she says the word whore.
True Advanced Member
This is awesome. I love that Kim Kardashian joke. Brilliance.
True Senior Member
That picture of Gaga is mega funny.... freaky bint
True Respect
What is it about Gaga videos that make my eyes bleed?
True New Lounger
I ❥ LifeLounge!
True Respect
ryz
me in agreement that music i loved as a teenager is the most overrated person in music.
False Respect
Damn I spent all weekend (Friday night was Midnight Juggernauts though) playing Modern Warfare 2! It was BRILLIANT! Such a good game, I highly recommend it! ^_^ - Jake XOOXO
True Respect
Finding it really hard to picture you playing such a violent game Jake. Or did you roam around trying to get everyone to hug it out?
True Respect
I was in JB on the weekend trying to decided between the new 2D Mario game on Wii and Modern Warfare 2 on 360. I went with murder and violence but I'm not convinced... I've never been big on First Person Shooters and this one hasn't really changed by mind.
True Respect
ryz
that's because FPS games are meant to be played on a PC.
False Respect
Oh snap RYZ! You're right though, one just dosn't feel the love as much through a controller. And YES! Hugging it out is always the answer Freeak I'm glad you think so too ^_^ - Jake XOOX
True Senior Member
I do like that picture of Josh and Fergie. Its kind of adorable. Sucks about the cheating though.

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