ZUP slutballz?!! Been gone 4evs, right?!?!??!?!!? I know, I know... jus been hangin wit my biatch Avril since her MASSIVE MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN!!!!!!! We jus been yachting around wit some billionaire dude and straightening our hair and being totez PUNK!!!
Avril wrote a few new songz like '2 B Wit U', 'BFF LOL' n my FAVOURITE LOVE BALLAD EVS 'W8 4 Me L8er Sk8er H8er'. It's SO beautiful but still totez haz dat Avril punk EDGE!! She is SO EDGY!!!!!! She haz more edge than a dodecahedron!!!!!!! SHE IS ALL EDGE!!!!! She is BASICALLY the original RIOT GRRRRRRRRRRRL!!!! Hello? She wears SCHOOL UNIFORMS!!! For fun!!!! LOL! She's a totez rebel!! Like, have u seen her pink streak in her hair?! ZOMGZ!!
Totez don't mess wit her, like a stooooops girl did when we was out da other night – this girl was all "OoooooOOOOOooohHHHH, Avril!!! U R not evez that punk!!!" and Avril was all like "Fuck you, bitch" and then homegirl was all "FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING IMPOSTOR. JOHNNY ROTTEN WOULD PISS ON U. U R THE OPPOSITE OF PUNK, U FUCKING HELLO KITTY, HARAJUKU, WANNABE GWEN STEFANI CIRCA 1995 OVER-GROWN TODDLER LOSER!"
...and then Avril was all, like, crying and shizz and totez said "FUCK OFF!" and we all went into the VIP area to drink mojitos and do linez!! LOL!!! DON'T MESS WITH AVRIL or u'll get PWNED!!!!! 4 realz!!!