Guilty Pleasures of Yesteryear - Montell Jordan 1995
8/05/2008 4:30:00 PM
|
|
Basically the sunnies at night, ladies in midriffs and beanies, choreographed dancing and frayed white denim are only outdone by Mr Jordan's excellent use of an over-sized leather vest. It's impressive.
Also, did anybody else think that a plastic-covered couch is the exact opposite of what Montell seems to be on about? I'm not entirely sure that the line "South Central does it like nobody does" was about remaining neat, tidy and stain-free.
Montell Jordan 'This Is How We Do It' (1995):
|
|
|
|
|
 0 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|
Guilty Pleasures of Yesteryear - Regurgitator 1997
5/05/2008 4:53:00 PM
|
|
When I was 15-years-old, I was convinced that I was going to marry Quan from Regurgitator (either him or Drazic from Heartbreak High and not the actor, actually the character Drazic) and he actually kind of wrote this song for me, even though we hadn't met yet. Then I found out his mum is a chef and I was more convinced than ever that we were meant to be. Basically, I still haven't met him. And, interestingly, we're still not married. Weird.
Regurgitator '! The Song Formerly Known As' (1997):
|
|
|
|
|
| 2 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|
Guilty Pleasures of Yesteryear - New Edition 1996
30/04/2008 4:33:00 PM
|
|
Laser goggles. Flame throwers. BMXs. Limousines. Helicopters. Matching outfits. Choreographed dance moves. Ladies in pleather jumpsuits. Taking on your rival with just a rake and a rubbish bin lid. The lyric "I wanna freak it, but first I'm gonna
take a peak at it / Grab it, stab it / Cause you know I gotsta have it." And some good old-fashioned female subordination at the end.
The whole thing is so dumb. I feel dirty.
New Edition 'Hit Me Off' (1996):
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|
Batman is from Singapore
23/04/2008 1:23:00 PM
|
|
Michael Keaton was an awesome Batman, and I'd never deny that. But he was a poor representation of the real thing. Apparently Superman was also not entirely accurate, and the spelling was incorrect. Next somebody will tell me that Beetlejuice wasn't an overweight un-dead man with bad teeth and was actually a fresh-faced prepubescent Japanese girl.
|
|
|
|
|
| 4 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|
Ron Weasley doesn't care for Lindsay Lohan
18/04/2008 11:55:00 AM
|
|
Rupert Grint (AKA Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter movies) was quoted recently as saying "I met Lindsay last summer and she talked about herself a lot. She said she was going to win an Oscar by the time she turns 25 and I just kept thinking 'But you can't act'".
Oh Ron. You clever, naughty little ranga. But you're so wrong. Lindsay is a really good actor. See, she just ACTS like she can't act. And she ACTS like she can't sing. And when she's flashing her chi-chi and passing out in cars and dancing like a stripper, she's just ACTING like a trashbag. See? She's actually very good. Had all of us convinced.
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|
When gynocology gets a little too graphic
15/04/2008 5:25:00 PM
|
|
|
To the left, to the left, it's Mr and Mrs Beyonce
8/04/2008 4:42:00 PM
|
|
So Jay-Z and Beyonce got married on Friday. Apparently it was a subtle affair (although, no doubt B had eight costume changes with at least three minks involved) with just Beyonce and Hova's families, the Destiny's Child ladies (yep, even that other one who's not Kelly) and Gwyneth Paltrow. Why was Gwyneth Paltrow there? I'll tell you why. Because she has absolutely nothing else to do.
In honor of the nuptials I was going to include the very apt 'Crazy in Love' but I couldn't pass up the apparently Rhianna-inspired, Sharon Stone-chanelling, "she gon' be rocking chinchilla coats if I let you go", convulsion that is Beyonce's 'Ring the Alarm'.
Note: the very subtle hidden meaning is that Jay-Z's 99 problems might increase if he cheats on Miss Knowles. Or Mrs Z as she's now known. Officially. It's true. What? You don't believe me? |
|
|
|
|
| 3 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|
Guilty Pleasures of Yesteryear - Notorious BIG, Mase and Puff Daddy 1997
4/04/2008 5:04:00 PM
|
|
Basically the funniest thing about this is how Puffy rhymes "Ten years from now, we'll still be on top."
But also the massive, matching, shiny, flammable-looking, super gay outfits they're sporting. And also the goggles. And also the fact that they are meant to be somewhere in outer-space, a place where (apparently) they can contact Biggie. And the way they choreograph waving their Rolexes in the air. And pretty much everything about how Puff dances.
But the really amusing thing is how cool I thought this was. You did too. Don't lie.
Notorious B.I.G. (featuring Puff Daddy and Ma$e) 'Mo Money Mo Problems' (1997)
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|
Guilty Pleasures of Yesteryear - Mr Big 1992
2/04/2008 5:06:00 PM
|
|
Oh fuck, I am so incredibly white right now.
There's a lot right with this music video; the "improvisation", the hand-claps, the long hair, the fringes, the blonde band member who looks like he's in the recovery process of his sex change surgery, the blinding metaphor when the video changes from black and white to colour, the tambourine, the impeccable use of vests...
But mostly, it's the key change. Basically, I couldn't love a key change any more. I love key changes more than Kanye West loves himself and I will love key changes more than my first-born child. Give me a song with a key change, and I will karaoke my face off.
Mr Big 'To Be With You' (1992)
|
|
|
|
|
| 2 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|
Bad luck ladies, he's taken
31/03/2008 3:50:00 PM
|
|
This super suave (and previously criminal-record-free) fella, Art Price, was arrested the other day. His crime? Love. Just pure, true, undying love for the object of his desire. What kind of a world do we live in when we arrest a man for making love to his partner in his own home?
Art's sexual partner was his picnic table. For serious.
Apparently a few videos of Price making babies with his picnic table made their way to an Ohio police station which sparked an investigation. Price has since been freed on a $20 thousand bail after admitting to his crimes.
What Price doesn't know is that while he's at work, his lover is totally getting it on with the hammock. You gotta watch those tables, they're notorious sluts.
|
|
|
|
|
| 12 Comment(s) | Add / View |
|
|